Sunday, January 28, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
mrm final presentation was yesterday and had the final demo shoot for tvprod today.
i am so glad that we managed to pull the show off smoothly even though there was a mad rush yesterday.
thanks to the many many wonderful bartenders at clarke quay who allowed us to film them doing their flair-ing. especially to paul, who is our esteemed guest. many thanks for the free drinks that night too!
if he looks like he is good, believe me, the photos haven't done him justice. he is way better than good.
champion of a few bartending competition (i have the list here somewhere...), he is also the founder of flair inc.
thanks to him and to my entire crew today, we pulled it off! (:
val with guest
and it's a wrap!
i am so glad that we managed to pull the show off smoothly even though there was a mad rush yesterday.
thanks to the many many wonderful bartenders at clarke quay who allowed us to film them doing their flair-ing. especially to paul, who is our esteemed guest. many thanks for the free drinks that night too!
if he looks like he is good, believe me, the photos haven't done him justice. he is way better than good.
champion of a few bartending competition (i have the list here somewhere...), he is also the founder of flair inc.
thanks to him and to my entire crew today, we pulled it off! (:
val with guest
and it's a wrap!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
do you believe in taking your own advice?
i never did. i am one person who can dish out advice as good as the next person but never seem to be able to take it. i guess it seems pretty much logical that from an external point of view, things look much more clearer and we often tend to neglect to factor in intangible stuff, like feelings (which in the end, mattered the most). but when you are enthralled into such a problem, more often than not, you could not be so objective.
which is really ironical because i give out advice on a frequent basis. as a counsellor on a teenage website (of course i can't tell you which), its practically my job to dish out decent (ok, at least semi-decent; no one died on my watch before) advice.
but this time, surprisingly, i am. it didn't take too long to make a decision. just a bus ride and a walk down memory lane. the walk wasn't too dreadful as initially thought out to be. ignore my previous post because although it is true that it is much easier to have someone to rain blame on, ultimately, you are not facing the music.
i would have to say that knowing you was one of the better things that happened to me in life but it is honestly just too bad that things have turned out this way. maybe its nobody's fault but like said, shit sometimes just happen.
you will never know about the visits to popular bookshop at bukit timah nor the jogs to bukit merah macdonald's and the many many things that had happened in the course of year 2006. and it's meant to be kept that way because these were places and memories that are held dear.
maybe what i heard yesterday is all true. the inferences made indeed held water. it was sad that i had to hear the words from someone whom i didn't really think too highly of but nonetheless, i feel the need to thank the person who told me all that was needed to know. the knowledge granted was indeed sufficient, to my own standards at least, to make an informed choice.
i read the entries of my past blog and read about those days when i still believed in hope. foolishly, maybe. but still hope, nonetheless. it is said that when a man loses hope, he loses everything. this is especially true because i have to admit that i am indeed more pessimistic, more inclined to give things up and more untrustworthy of everything around me.
others may have known this as a change. more cynical, definitely. more brooding, not so much because i don't display too much of it. but it is agreed that i've changed. i know it myself deep down too. i just mask this with an excuse that nothing remains constant forever.
after reading the entries of my past blog and that of my journal, i realised that i had given up back then because it was simply much too painful, for anyone to comprehend, to hold on anymore. the decision still sticks although someone said to me today, "the worst you can do to anyone is to give up on that person". i have not given up, i know it. but at the very least, i am trying to forget. it is not much of an improvement but it is the only best shot i am willing to try to take.
in a nutshell, i am glad that things have gone better for you. i am, really. much as i hope to be beside you, i know that this is all only on my own sided view and none of it is your stand. as a rule of thumb, i hate to impose myself on others and this time is no difference. i've said my piece throughout those times when i said that i will be there for you and all but it is just too bad that you don't appreciate it. i was willing to be there through thick and thin, rain or shine but you just kept pushing and pushing and pushing me away.
when i left, i didnt bring any ounce of self dignity and pride with me. it took me nearly 2 entire years to pick myself up and to try and live life again. i have no agenda, except to hope that you are happy, will be happy.
maybe it is this entire episode that made me mistrustful of people, that i could never truly fit in to anywhere anymore. no, i am not blaming you but just stating a fact. you taught me many things and i am thankful for that. there was no one else that made me so comfortable to be with and i know that feeling will never be experienced by me again. but i still made that choice.
在理性与感性之中，我还是选择了理性。
it could be like the passing of a typhoon. a sudden upheaval of wind just blew my life out of proportion and when the typhoon left, all that is left is mindless calm, debris and me, alone, trying to pick up the pieces.
i know i will keep thinking of what might have been if i chose to stick around but honestly, why put myself in the position to be subjected to your hurtful (you might say that it is the truth but don't you know that truth hurts) comments and the chance that things will just blow up in my face again? at least the ball is in my court.
but the journey is complete. suddenly, i realised that i have stopped believing in miracles anymore. the blog is aptly named too. "the surrealist notion - liberalism" have i finally been freed? from the cages of this abyss?
就此亡笔
祝
幸福
i never did. i am one person who can dish out advice as good as the next person but never seem to be able to take it. i guess it seems pretty much logical that from an external point of view, things look much more clearer and we often tend to neglect to factor in intangible stuff, like feelings (which in the end, mattered the most). but when you are enthralled into such a problem, more often than not, you could not be so objective.
which is really ironical because i give out advice on a frequent basis. as a counsellor on a teenage website (of course i can't tell you which), its practically my job to dish out decent (ok, at least semi-decent; no one died on my watch before) advice.
but this time, surprisingly, i am. it didn't take too long to make a decision. just a bus ride and a walk down memory lane. the walk wasn't too dreadful as initially thought out to be. ignore my previous post because although it is true that it is much easier to have someone to rain blame on, ultimately, you are not facing the music.
i would have to say that knowing you was one of the better things that happened to me in life but it is honestly just too bad that things have turned out this way. maybe its nobody's fault but like said, shit sometimes just happen.
you will never know about the visits to popular bookshop at bukit timah nor the jogs to bukit merah macdonald's and the many many things that had happened in the course of year 2006. and it's meant to be kept that way because these were places and memories that are held dear.
maybe what i heard yesterday is all true. the inferences made indeed held water. it was sad that i had to hear the words from someone whom i didn't really think too highly of but nonetheless, i feel the need to thank the person who told me all that was needed to know. the knowledge granted was indeed sufficient, to my own standards at least, to make an informed choice.
i read the entries of my past blog and read about those days when i still believed in hope. foolishly, maybe. but still hope, nonetheless. it is said that when a man loses hope, he loses everything. this is especially true because i have to admit that i am indeed more pessimistic, more inclined to give things up and more untrustworthy of everything around me.
others may have known this as a change. more cynical, definitely. more brooding, not so much because i don't display too much of it. but it is agreed that i've changed. i know it myself deep down too. i just mask this with an excuse that nothing remains constant forever.
after reading the entries of my past blog and that of my journal, i realised that i had given up back then because it was simply much too painful, for anyone to comprehend, to hold on anymore. the decision still sticks although someone said to me today, "the worst you can do to anyone is to give up on that person". i have not given up, i know it. but at the very least, i am trying to forget. it is not much of an improvement but it is the only best shot i am willing to try to take.
in a nutshell, i am glad that things have gone better for you. i am, really. much as i hope to be beside you, i know that this is all only on my own sided view and none of it is your stand. as a rule of thumb, i hate to impose myself on others and this time is no difference. i've said my piece throughout those times when i said that i will be there for you and all but it is just too bad that you don't appreciate it. i was willing to be there through thick and thin, rain or shine but you just kept pushing and pushing and pushing me away.
when i left, i didnt bring any ounce of self dignity and pride with me. it took me nearly 2 entire years to pick myself up and to try and live life again. i have no agenda, except to hope that you are happy, will be happy.
maybe it is this entire episode that made me mistrustful of people, that i could never truly fit in to anywhere anymore. no, i am not blaming you but just stating a fact. you taught me many things and i am thankful for that. there was no one else that made me so comfortable to be with and i know that feeling will never be experienced by me again. but i still made that choice.
在理性与感性之中，我还是选择了理性。
it could be like the passing of a typhoon. a sudden upheaval of wind just blew my life out of proportion and when the typhoon left, all that is left is mindless calm, debris and me, alone, trying to pick up the pieces.
i know i will keep thinking of what might have been if i chose to stick around but honestly, why put myself in the position to be subjected to your hurtful (you might say that it is the truth but don't you know that truth hurts) comments and the chance that things will just blow up in my face again? at least the ball is in my court.
but the journey is complete. suddenly, i realised that i have stopped believing in miracles anymore. the blog is aptly named too. "the surrealist notion - liberalism" have i finally been freed? from the cages of this abyss?
就此亡笔
祝
幸福
Monday, January 22, 2007
i need someone to make a decision for me so that if things screw up this time, at the very very very least, i can whine and complain and do all things negative and blame it on the person who made the choice for me. and it won't be so painful to blame someone else because blaming a particular person made my heart ache so so so much that i don't even know how, where, what, when, why, who to begin.
i think for an issue to drag this long is really nonsensical and its doing no one any sliver of good.
on a sidenote, all cab stealers on the world should really go and die, literally. in case any one is wondering, i was the mad and crazy one shouting, "bitch!" "bastards!" "go rot in hell!" when some cab stealers stole my mode of transport outside ngee ann. i'm blogging about this in regret because i actually broke my new year resolution.
so anyway, before i sidetracked, i really dont know what to do about a situation where perhaps, nothing else can be, should be, done.
i didnt realise that after so long, nothing has changed. nothing, absolutely nothing at all has changed the way i felt, no, feel. thats what i can say, for my side at least.
so someone, please, please, please make a decision for me.
i think for an issue to drag this long is really nonsensical and its doing no one any sliver of good.
on a sidenote, all cab stealers on the world should really go and die, literally. in case any one is wondering, i was the mad and crazy one shouting, "bitch!" "bastards!" "go rot in hell!" when some cab stealers stole my mode of transport outside ngee ann. i'm blogging about this in regret because i actually broke my new year resolution.
so anyway, before i sidetracked, i really dont know what to do about a situation where perhaps, nothing else can be, should be, done.
i didnt realise that after so long, nothing has changed. nothing, absolutely nothing at all has changed the way i felt, no, feel. thats what i can say, for my side at least.
so someone, please, please, please make a decision for me.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
How to save a life - The Fray
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
new year resolution: not to be mean to be people
1.) no calling of demeaning and offensive names like bimbo, bitch, bastard and what have yous.
2.) allowed to swear but not to anyone in particular
3.) try very very very hard not to be sarcastic
4.) be nice to people, even to those whom i dont know
IM VERY DETERMINED TO KEEP THIS RESOLUTION
p.s. heroes s01e12 coming out tomorrow! yay!
1.) no calling of demeaning and offensive names like bimbo, bitch, bastard and what have yous.
2.) allowed to swear but not to anyone in particular
3.) try very very very hard not to be sarcastic
4.) be nice to people, even to those whom i dont know
IM VERY DETERMINED TO KEEP THIS RESOLUTION
p.s. heroes s01e12 coming out tomorrow! yay!
Saturday, January 20, 2007
the past three days have been crazy, and no, not in a good sense.
week14 is by no means a walk in the park. in fact, it is a horrible horrible nightmare that i can't seem to wake up from.
why, you ask? after all, no work is due right? wrong, wrong and wrong. ばつ!!! (that's japanese for X) i happen to neglect the fact that everything is due on 15 and 16 and week14 is supposed to be spent on preparing.
so let me recount the past few days of hell:
wednesday
week14 is by no means a walk in the park. in fact, it is a horrible horrible nightmare that i can't seem to wake up from.
why, you ask? after all, no work is due right? wrong, wrong and wrong. ばつ!!! (that's japanese for X) i happen to neglect the fact that everything is due on 15 and 16 and week14 is supposed to be spent on preparing.
so let me recount the past few days of hell:
wednesday
spent the morning in school. it was a bad bad morning because paul forgot to bring the layout to show ramani. but progress wise, we are ok. perhaps we need to work on the coming in of stories. went to mel's house and did mrm. stayed till 10 plus, 11 and i headed down to clarke quay to meet yc and valerie for the shooting for footage. met really nice people who flared for us and we got lotsa interesting shoots. oh, and i suck at drinking games. i lost to valerie...! im such a noob!
thursday
thursday
tvpro rehearsal and did open house duty. no comments really. but anyway, i went home and started doing mm until amanda called me and asked if i was at tertiary fling. i wasnt coz i forgot abt it and i cldnt find anyone to go with. hung up and guess what? chiahong called and asked the exact same question. by then, i couldnt take it and went down to MoS coz amanda was in the queue already. the queue was so long! zzzz. i queued for like, 2o minutes until i decided to give up coz even if i managed to get in, i'll be shoulder to shoulder with everyone else. perhaps not even shoulder to shoulder coz im unbelievably short.
friday
friday
of all times, felicia quek had to call while i was preparing for school and because i was talking to her, i missed the godsent (i call it 'godsent' coz the waiting time is so long) bus and had to end up being late for mr. ziggy soh's class. i cannot believe it because i've been making an effort since day 1 to be early for his class because he locks students out. i blame her. met up with mr ramani after advert and thankfully, everything seems to be ok. huikheng's bdae celebration followed by clarke quay again. i dunno if this is called mixing work with pleasure because it sure didnt feel like a project. one nite stand is officially my favourite bar coz the live band there on friday is fabulous!
clubbed with perr and val and i swear, its damn fun!
pictures are with val, coz im too lazy to take any that night! knocked out at 4, once i reached home.
and the time now is 10:07, sunday morning. been wanting to blog but not able to yesterday coz alvin and zhiwei were here chionging her project till this morning! haha. and she sucks at photoshop!
finishing up on featwg subbing and advert now! (:
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
i call this week the calm before the storm.
advert campaign presentation, mrm final presentation, tvprod demo shoot, featwg magazine, mm final presentation on both week15 and week16.
there seems to be no way to hide, even IS has tests every single week.
i am taking comfort in the knowledge that i only need to survive this week, get through 2 more and as what they call it in american football, i will be home free. will be, that is in future tense.
everything seems to be going along ok, what i just need to do is to numb myself and turn into this psycho-bitch-worker. that is, if i can still pull it off.
the things that should have happened, did not. so i have taken to waking up every morning and wondering, who else am i going to kid next?
advert campaign presentation, mrm final presentation, tvprod demo shoot, featwg magazine, mm final presentation on both week15 and week16.
there seems to be no way to hide, even IS has tests every single week.
i am taking comfort in the knowledge that i only need to survive this week, get through 2 more and as what they call it in american football, i will be home free. will be, that is in future tense.
everything seems to be going along ok, what i just need to do is to numb myself and turn into this psycho-bitch-worker. that is, if i can still pull it off.
the things that should have happened, did not. so i have taken to waking up every morning and wondering, who else am i going to kid next?
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
me, "mr bangras, i just want to know, if i applied for OIAP, will i get the internship in taiwan saatchi&saatchi?" (i think that's how i phrased it.)
mr bangras, "dont tell you." (ok, he wasn't that childish, but that was roughly what he said.)
me, "just say lah. i just want to know. i won't do anything about it."
mr bangras, "YAH. you should have stuck with your decision with OIAP."
me, "what about the lecturers recommendation?"
mr bangras, "they didnt have anything bad to say. it's just that you werent confident enough to stick to it."
me, "oh."
note to self: kick myself hard whenever i feel inconfident about something
mr bangras, "dont tell you." (ok, he wasn't that childish, but that was roughly what he said.)
me, "just say lah. i just want to know. i won't do anything about it."
mr bangras, "YAH. you should have stuck with your decision with OIAP."
me, "what about the lecturers recommendation?"
mr bangras, "they didnt have anything bad to say. it's just that you werent confident enough to stick to it."
me, "oh."
note to self: kick myself hard whenever i feel inconfident about something
Monday, January 08, 2007
how does it feel to live a lie?
recently (ok, fine) this afternoon, i got to know something somewhat disturbing.
to some of you might have known, i was quite hung up over a person's depression for quite a period of time.
this period of 'hung up' made me do extreme things, things that hurt myself, things that now on hindsight, looks stupid and dumb.
i've been trying really hard to move on for the longest time i can remember. and i've moved on, more or less. it's just that i've left a devastating pile of debris in my wake.
now, all i see in the mirror is someone who is so naive, so gullible to believe everything.
maybe it's time i learnt the lesson.
maybe it's time to see for myself what it is like.
maybe, just maybe, it's time to lead my old life back.
how does it feel to live a lie?
i don't know. you tell me.
recently (ok, fine) this afternoon, i got to know something somewhat disturbing.
to some of you might have known, i was quite hung up over a person's depression for quite a period of time.
this period of 'hung up' made me do extreme things, things that hurt myself, things that now on hindsight, looks stupid and dumb.
i've been trying really hard to move on for the longest time i can remember. and i've moved on, more or less. it's just that i've left a devastating pile of debris in my wake.
now, all i see in the mirror is someone who is so naive, so gullible to believe everything.
maybe it's time i learnt the lesson.
maybe it's time to see for myself what it is like.
maybe, just maybe, it's time to lead my old life back.
how does it feel to live a lie?
i don't know. you tell me.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
mirror mirror on the wall, who is the cheapo-est of them all?
mirror: gee, i dunno. it's really a tough fight between yijuan, chengwei and kim.
now i'm not surprised, not after what happened just now.
we were at the zenitant office; there was a gathering for facilitators. the turnout was rather miserable and there was a lot of food left over.
so being the anti-foodwasters that we are, we decided to pack some food home. the operative word here is 'some' because to our definition, 'some' means enough to feed a family for one or two weeks. at first we packed them according to how much we each wanted to eat...
a closer look into the contents...
no, this is not mine, i don't eat egg yolks. these belongs to the two girls. surprised? the best is yet to come. so anyway, after we took our own fair share, we saw this:
and we decided to do something about it. i ran down to the ntuc downstairs and bought up containers which eventually became...
mirror: gee, i dunno. it's really a tough fight between yijuan, chengwei and kim.
now i'm not surprised, not after what happened just now.
we were at the zenitant office; there was a gathering for facilitators. the turnout was rather miserable and there was a lot of food left over.
so being the anti-foodwasters that we are, we decided to pack some food home. the operative word here is 'some' because to our definition, 'some' means enough to feed a family for one or two weeks. at first we packed them according to how much we each wanted to eat...
a closer look into the contents...
no, this is not mine, i don't eat egg yolks. these belongs to the two girls. surprised? the best is yet to come. so anyway, after we took our own fair share, we saw this:
and we decided to do something about it. i ran down to the ntuc downstairs and bought up containers which eventually became...
i brought back home so much food, it's enough to last me a lifetime, i swear.
oh, and here are the pics from last night when i was too tired to upload already.
i'm tired today too! i jogged a total of 15 rounds today because i felt guilty for eating for the past few days. i feel so healthy now! gymming tomorrow with KL at tampines! 9am! OMG. someone wake me up please! oh yah, i'm doing rock climbing on monday, first time in my life sia! wish me luck! (:
considering the time now, its only right to say that yesterday was the due date for field assignment 2 and creatives for advertising campaign.
my gosh, the feeling of handing up the work was so orgasmic, i swear the sheer rush of euphoria when you know that you are over and done with for this aspect. but the rush of adrenaline is of course subdued by the reality that this piece of work will come and bite you on your behind.
nevermind. let's move on to not so depressing topics.
so i had fun today! and i mean fun ie. laughter, the kind that goes HAHAHAHA. and basically my legs are as durable as any shopping queen.
i went out with kim today. i think we laughed all the way from school till town. with us taking alternate turns in asking each other to shut up. basically, it was quite unglam and embarassing but i honestly couldn't cared less.
i know all her most embarassing moments lah, sometimes you are so in tuned with a person that it is freaky but i guess that's why i've known her since kindergarten. things like this, just happened.
kim made me a mean person today; i took a picture of this two girls who were dressed inappropriately (?). kim is this mean bimbo lah. can't stand her. oh! and i just realised we didnt take pictures but anyways, later's the zenitant gathering so i'm definitely bringing my camera there! (:
waited with her at the bus stop (OMG. i'm so freaking nice lah.) until her bus came and i headed to city hall.
was supposed to go DXO. but we didnt go in in the end. (SEE! I DIDN'T CLUB! PROVED YOU WRONG, DIDN'T I??)
ok, but we went eskibar at circular road. damn cold and fun. and had porridge at maxwell road. i'm getting fatter and fatter, i swear.
i'm so shagged; i think i'll just go straight to bed. =P
my gosh, the feeling of handing up the work was so orgasmic, i swear the sheer rush of euphoria when you know that you are over and done with for this aspect. but the rush of adrenaline is of course subdued by the reality that this piece of work will come and bite you on your behind.
nevermind. let's move on to not so depressing topics.
so i had fun today! and i mean fun ie. laughter, the kind that goes HAHAHAHA. and basically my legs are as durable as any shopping queen.
i went out with kim today. i think we laughed all the way from school till town. with us taking alternate turns in asking each other to shut up. basically, it was quite unglam and embarassing but i honestly couldn't cared less.
i know all her most embarassing moments lah, sometimes you are so in tuned with a person that it is freaky but i guess that's why i've known her since kindergarten. things like this, just happened.
kim made me a mean person today; i took a picture of this two girls who were dressed inappropriately (?). kim is this mean bimbo lah. can't stand her. oh! and i just realised we didnt take pictures but anyways, later's the zenitant gathering so i'm definitely bringing my camera there! (:
waited with her at the bus stop (OMG. i'm so freaking nice lah.) until her bus came and i headed to city hall.
was supposed to go DXO. but we didnt go in in the end. (SEE! I DIDN'T CLUB! PROVED YOU WRONG, DIDN'T I??)
ok, but we went eskibar at circular road. damn cold and fun. and had porridge at maxwell road. i'm getting fatter and fatter, i swear.
i'm so shagged; i think i'll just go straight to bed. =P
Thursday, January 04, 2007
its week12 and most of my coursemates feel like they're in hell.
i've just finished with my own fair share of workload and taking a step back and looking at the entire present situation at hand, makes me laugh.
no, i'm not mad. laughing to oneself doesn't automatically make me a nutcase. not yet, anyway.
but i look and ponder at where I am today. i'm finishing up with year 2, never thought i'd last this long. looking back on my days in year 1, it's a laugh, really, to see how much everything has changed. i've learnt how to take things as they go, not wanting to say or do much, but just doing my own fair share, ensuring that everything falls into place.
one thing i've learnt in these two years and not for the past 16 years before was that, there is so much more to life than just school and studying. there's work, there's the nightlife. and there's the fair share of politics that is so fun to participate in once in awhile. my third aunt was just saying to me that no matter how excellent you do in school or how successful you are in life, if you fail as a person, you fail entirely. and how true is that?
so what if you manage to do well in school but you have such poor interpersonal skills that no one likes working with you? so what if you manage to secure the best job in everybody's eyes but all you want to do is something else entirely different?
at the end of the day when the night falls and you are getting ready to get into bed, you think about the day's details and what you have been through. did you enjoy your day? could you imagine living another day, like this one? i firmly believe that enjoying what you do, enjoying your life is so much more important, so much more fulfilling than basically doing just what's excellent, what's perfect.
never mind how society looks at you because they don't have to live with any decision except the ones they make for themselves but you are the one who has to live with the choices you make. could you live with the choice you make? deep down inside, are you happy? i think that's a very important question everyone fails to answer nowadays. or rather, they might be trying to avoid to answer. sit down with a cup of tea and think: are you happy?
just because the masses do it, doesn't make it right.
i learnt alot about the media scene today in tvprod class and how everything in the industry works. it might just surprise you that the happiest people are, in fact, the ones we pity the most.
i've just finished with my own fair share of workload and taking a step back and looking at the entire present situation at hand, makes me laugh.
no, i'm not mad. laughing to oneself doesn't automatically make me a nutcase. not yet, anyway.
but i look and ponder at where I am today. i'm finishing up with year 2, never thought i'd last this long. looking back on my days in year 1, it's a laugh, really, to see how much everything has changed. i've learnt how to take things as they go, not wanting to say or do much, but just doing my own fair share, ensuring that everything falls into place.
one thing i've learnt in these two years and not for the past 16 years before was that, there is so much more to life than just school and studying. there's work, there's the nightlife. and there's the fair share of politics that is so fun to participate in once in awhile. my third aunt was just saying to me that no matter how excellent you do in school or how successful you are in life, if you fail as a person, you fail entirely. and how true is that?
so what if you manage to do well in school but you have such poor interpersonal skills that no one likes working with you? so what if you manage to secure the best job in everybody's eyes but all you want to do is something else entirely different?
at the end of the day when the night falls and you are getting ready to get into bed, you think about the day's details and what you have been through. did you enjoy your day? could you imagine living another day, like this one? i firmly believe that enjoying what you do, enjoying your life is so much more important, so much more fulfilling than basically doing just what's excellent, what's perfect.
never mind how society looks at you because they don't have to live with any decision except the ones they make for themselves but you are the one who has to live with the choices you make. could you live with the choice you make? deep down inside, are you happy? i think that's a very important question everyone fails to answer nowadays. or rather, they might be trying to avoid to answer. sit down with a cup of tea and think: are you happy?
just because the masses do it, doesn't make it right.
i learnt alot about the media scene today in tvprod class and how everything in the industry works. it might just surprise you that the happiest people are, in fact, the ones we pity the most.
Boy woke up with a splitting headache. He didn't remember how long he had passed out for. The only thing he remembered was the aimlessness he felt when he was running.
He took in his surroundings. He was alone; he woke up next to a stream of fresh running water. He wasn't afraid of being alone. After all, he had been alone for so long. The sense of loneliness was not something easy to get used to. Maybe if he had never known what it was like to be with people, he would never know how it felt like to be without. He cursed no one, his heart sighed a heavy sigh of defeat. He accepted the cards fate had dealt him with, wishing only that there was a way to improve his current situation.
But there seemed to be none. He hoped against hope that someone will be there for him to let him cry on, to let him know that he wasn't alone. But who could there be? In a place where the rule of thumb is the survival of the fittest, who would it be? There didn't seem to be an answer.
Clearing his head a little, he felt different. There was something different about him, he felt it. Not the air, not the surroundings. But deep down, he knew that there was something different about himself.
He took in his surroundings. He was alone; he woke up next to a stream of fresh running water. He wasn't afraid of being alone. After all, he had been alone for so long. The sense of loneliness was not something easy to get used to. Maybe if he had never known what it was like to be with people, he would never know how it felt like to be without. He cursed no one, his heart sighed a heavy sigh of defeat. He accepted the cards fate had dealt him with, wishing only that there was a way to improve his current situation.
But there seemed to be none. He hoped against hope that someone will be there for him to let him cry on, to let him know that he wasn't alone. But who could there be? In a place where the rule of thumb is the survival of the fittest, who would it be? There didn't seem to be an answer.
Clearing his head a little, he felt different. There was something different about him, he felt it. Not the air, not the surroundings. But deep down, he knew that there was something different about himself.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
I watched the final episode of Teen Titans on Cartoon Network yesterday night. It was about Terra sacrificing herself in order to save the other Teen Titans. She has always been a spy for Slade but she has finally decided to fight for herself.
I read about this somewhere but one fine day, Terra's best friend, Beast Boy, realised that Terra is still alive but has no recollections about her life as a Teen Titan.
I read about this somewhere but one fine day, Terra's best friend, Beast Boy, realised that Terra is still alive but has no recollections about her life as a Teen Titan.He tried ways and means to make her remember but nothing seems to work.
“Why do you keep calling me that? I’m not this girl!”
“You look like her, you talk like her, you laugh like her, you’re Terra!”
The scene shifts and it shows Terra having memories of her life as a Titan but she has already decided to take up her new identity and live on with the life she is having now.
“The girl you remember may be just a memory.
I’m not a hero.
I’m just a girl with a geometry test next period and I haven’t studied.”
And she leaves.
im going crazy.
i wrote and pressed backspace umpteen times in the course of writing my FA2. I have been at this since around 11pm and now, i'm still hitting around 230+ words when the minimal word limit is 800. i need coffee, a longer break and a sleep long enough till the next holidays.
i cant even type coherently now and my sentences don't flow. they are nothing but chunk of texts. i so need to sleep.
i wrote and pressed backspace umpteen times in the course of writing my FA2. I have been at this since around 11pm and now, i'm still hitting around 230+ words when the minimal word limit is 800. i need coffee, a longer break and a sleep long enough till the next holidays.
i cant even type coherently now and my sentences don't flow. they are nothing but chunk of texts. i so need to sleep.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
i just realised that i am turning 19 this year.
and i've achieved nothing.
ok, this is officially so depressing. i need to go save the world or something.
i think alexander the great conquered half the world when he was my age.
sigh.
anyway, here are the pics from new year's eve!
minimal pics, yes i know. but the others are simply too embarassing to be shown! (:
Monday, January 01, 2007
i guess i didn't spend new year's eve as i thought i would.
socklee sms-ed me to invite me for a play session (yes, i call them 'play sessions' because we just meet up and have fun like kids) with her and shiyuen at the latter's place.
dropped by around 8ish, 9?
daidee-ed with the two girls and jady until kahheng called me to go eskibar for a drink with boontat and chris. coincidentally, BOgirl called up shiyuen and asked to join us. so we headed to holland village and reached 30 minutes before midnight.
hunted around for an alternative place to chill as eski bar was filled. settled at this weird danish pub as it was the only place with seats and all. take it from me that danish beer sucks and i will take a lychee martini over it any freaking day.
i think we had a tad too much of a drink as the games that were played were damn embarassing. it takes alot to muster the courage to do the things that we did but it was fun! haha. i think all the guys are secretly wishing yesterday night didnt exist.
but anyhow, i guess it's only customary to set a few new year's resolutions (not that i really keep to it and all). so here goes nothing, PRproposal-style...
objective: get a GPA of 3.0 and above for this semester
1.) do not skip any more lectures so as to get maximum participation points
2.) do not procrastinate when it comes to doing homework
3.) try and try again to obtain best results
objective: not to be late for any meetings
1.) give self 15 minutes extra then presumed travelling time to reach destination
2.) set watch 5 minutes ahead of actual time
objective: be brave enough to admit that self has done wrong
1.) speak up and be more confrontational to solve problems (note: assertive, not aggressive)
2.) do not do anything wrong in the first place
objective: do not be emotional and do things recklessly
1.) take a deep breath before saying anything that might cause negative feelings in other party
2.) consider alternative options
3.) just stay calm
objective: find myself and be myself abit more
1.) try not to care about what others think
2.) open my eyes big big and know who/what is good for myself
anyway, thats all i can think of for now. should add more if any thoughts come to mind.
yes yes, ZIXIN. thanks for the exposure i got from you and your team when we were working on the World AIDS Day project together. Hope you do well for IMC! (:
socklee sms-ed me to invite me for a play session (yes, i call them 'play sessions' because we just meet up and have fun like kids) with her and shiyuen at the latter's place.
dropped by around 8ish, 9?
daidee-ed with the two girls and jady until kahheng called me to go eskibar for a drink with boontat and chris. coincidentally, BOgirl called up shiyuen and asked to join us. so we headed to holland village and reached 30 minutes before midnight.
hunted around for an alternative place to chill as eski bar was filled. settled at this weird danish pub as it was the only place with seats and all. take it from me that danish beer sucks and i will take a lychee martini over it any freaking day.
i think we had a tad too much of a drink as the games that were played were damn embarassing. it takes alot to muster the courage to do the things that we did but it was fun! haha. i think all the guys are secretly wishing yesterday night didnt exist.
but anyhow, i guess it's only customary to set a few new year's resolutions (not that i really keep to it and all). so here goes nothing, PRproposal-style...
objective: get a GPA of 3.0 and above for this semester
1.) do not skip any more lectures so as to get maximum participation points
2.) do not procrastinate when it comes to doing homework
3.) try and try again to obtain best results
objective: not to be late for any meetings
1.) give self 15 minutes extra then presumed travelling time to reach destination
2.) set watch 5 minutes ahead of actual time
objective: be brave enough to admit that self has done wrong
1.) speak up and be more confrontational to solve problems (note: assertive, not aggressive)
2.) do not do anything wrong in the first place
objective: do not be emotional and do things recklessly
1.) take a deep breath before saying anything that might cause negative feelings in other party
2.) consider alternative options
3.) just stay calm
objective: find myself and be myself abit more
1.) try not to care about what others think
2.) open my eyes big big and know who/what is good for myself
anyway, thats all i can think of for now. should add more if any thoughts come to mind.
yes yes, ZIXIN. thanks for the exposure i got from you and your team when we were working on the World AIDS Day project together. Hope you do well for IMC! (:
About
こにちは。わたしはアオチュンウェイです。おげんきですか。
ngee ann mass comm student. nobody special, really. but just not your everyday kinda guy. i think sleep is underrated and that's why if you don't sleep enough, i will do it for you. you can contact me at anti-clock.wise@hotmail.com. the acronym of my email is that of my initials. hah! betcha' didn't know that.